Many times I wonder is their another lifestyle out there for me in these last years.
There have been many over my last 70 plus years.
From young career woman, wife, mother, helping run an active business, divorced, healing at the old farm house, some interesting professions, then on to creating homes and gardens and my wonderful grandchildren that have come into my life along the way.
Now settled into my country cottage
Thinking this was the end.
But I still wonder.
Surrounding me are those I have very little in common with.
A phone call, a wave as I pick up my mail and they drive past me on this country road and that is about it. Many times in the past being involved in local interests that left me feeling empty and the thought that it was a waste of my time.
In this small town there have been many I had interaction with over the years, some so dear and special to me. It seems they have all passed away or now those that are left we do not have similar interest.
My interests and lifestyle is totally different and seems there is little connection with those living near me.
I do take great joy and comfort in the fact that there is a closeness with my children and grand children.
My computer of 5 years has brought me so much pleasure and kindred souls who I share with and we respond to one another.
That is something I am thankful for. At times I wonder would we feel this
closeness if we actually spent time with each other. I am of the mindset that when we write it comes from the heart and other factors enter into spending time in person.
With this being my life at the present - I still wonder is there more out there for me?
Can I recreate myself once more - at this late stage of life?
I will answer my own question - can do - if the desire and energy is there.
I also realize the mind is still very active but the body at times cannot keep up with the mind.
I smile as I remember my soninlaw making the comment over the years that
"I do not expose myself." I think that meant - did not circulate outside of my daily activities
Seems when the day begins with all it involves at this time, then it ends quickly
and much I plan and think about does not happen.
When making a trip to town I cannot wait to return home and
when home the thought often surfaces that I need to get out more.
Bottom line I am at Peace when I walk around with Miss Callie with hoe in hand
or sit in my old rocker with camera in hand waiting for a new bird to appear
or spot a new flower blooming.
Peace is something I did not have for most of my life and it it wonderful to now have it.
Maybe I have it all or had it all and do not realize it?
Does any of this make sense
to some of those who read my rambling?